May there never be war between the nations of Bacon and Cheese, for I know not where my loyalties lie.
— Some dude way cooler than me
You say you love America but I’M the one in the Uncle Sam costume with a visible erection.
— Josh Allen
A cool blue neon sign flickers outside the sleazy motel window. John Larsen hoist the acient tuba from its case….
Well - Its nice having the internet and Starbucks and YouTube and all, but the world really hasnt been the same since God killed Jim Henson.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did.
— Mark Twain
This is NOT the Crawford County I grew up in. Seriously, where am I. I woke up cuffed to a sleeping Panda. Everyones speaking like they are in a kung-fu movie. One of them must have shaved my head and dressed me in these golden robes (sorta comfy). Dammit! I told you it was a bad idea to drink that much at the airport! I should have never friended you on Facebook. DRAT!
If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.
— Tennessee Williams
Love was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, Homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
— Lisa Simpson